Most people have no need to seek out a normal life, but I'm not in that position. For me I've been trying to seek out and live a normal life in an abnormal environment for over half my life now.

As a 17-year-old I was thrown into a maximum-security prison. I had never been in prison before, and it was a frightening experience. As with most teens I thought I was grown up, but in this environment I soon realized I was just a kid among the worst of the worst. The first couple of years were very difficult for me. I dealt with a lot of depression. Finding ways to overcome that was never easy, but I managed to find ways to keep busy, and in doing so started to adapt to where I was. After all, I didn't have a choice.

To keep busy, I started to write people. It was always nice to receive mail and have some sort of contact with the outside world. One of these people helped me out with a magazine subscription. I then wrote to the editor asking if I could extend my subscription by writing record reviews. We reached an agreement, and I liked it so much that I started writing reviews for other magazines for free. It was just nice to be part of something and help out.

I wrote for this one magazine here in Maryland, and in doing so started corresponding with the editor as well. She started to visit me and things started to take a romantic flair. We ended up getting married. I always wanted to get married and to have a family, but marriage in prison isn't easy, and it didn't work out. In fact, nothing in prison is normal, and nothing seems to work.

I started to concentrate on my education, but not really. Sure, I wanted my G.E.D., but here they give you a dollar a day to attend school, and if I got my G.E.D. I'd lose my income. So I stayed in school for 9 years just so I could receive a dollar a day. However, I did want my G.E.D., and it got to the point where enough was enough. I decided to get my G.E.D. and passed on my first attempt. I was so thrilled that I signed up for college right away. Never in my wildest dreams could I see myself in college, and yet 4 years later I graduated with a 3.3 GPA and a Bachelor of Science degree in Applied Psychology.

Wow! Now I have a degree. Somehow, I had hoped it would mean something, or that it would make a difference in my life. I guess I hoped someone would take notice, or that it would help me in court in some way. I worked hard for that degree, and when no one took notice, I felt a little cheated. Nevertheless, I still wanted to use the degree I earned. I came up with an idea for "Counseling Through Correspondence." I had hoped that maybe I could find a way to give back to society and help others, as I also helped myself. When I tried to place an ad, it was rejected because I didn?t have a license. Again disappointment filled my heart.

I want a normal life so bad. I seek it out, I try to find it, I try to have it, but it doesn't seem possible within the walls of a prison. Giving up doesn't seem like an option, and neither does a normal life. So what's next?

At this stage in my life (I'm now 37), I would like to have a purpose. I would like to have a job, and I would like to contribute something somehow. If you're in the position where you could offer me a job, a job that I could do from within these walls, then please contact me at the address below. I would appreciate any assistance which you could give me.